Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
greetings! I am Space Ghost.
Greetings! I am Space Ghost.
My first guest tonight is the incredible, the incomparable Steve Allen!
* Oh my, I can't believe my ears *
* I have waited for this moment for years *
* how can this be?
* Steve Allen's gonna talk to me *
* Steve Allen Steve Allen?
Yes, zorak, Steve Allen!
* Why, he's the greatest talk show host *
* from Atlantic to pacific coast *
* I really do not mean to boast that we've got Steve Allen *
* hey, I got Steve Allen * I twisted arms, I threatened harm *
* in galaxies, I caused alarm *
* made many agents buy the farm *
* just to get you Steve Allen *
* he's got you, s.G. , give him credit *
* he doesn't just direct and edit *
* Moltar needs to have some credit *
* ok, Moltar, zorak's right * I do not want to start a fight *
* but if you cross me, I just might *
* oh, Steve Allen Steve Allen?
Steve Allen?
* I can't believe we got * Steve Allen!
Steve Allen!
Wow, Moltar. How'd you score Steve Allen, anyway?
I threatened to give his manager a third-degree burn.
Bonus!
Zorak, play me to the desk
* Oh, I am but a mantis *
* so evil and so mean * forced into this position *
* is it because I'm green? *
* oh, I did not imprison you *
* for the color of your skin *
* you see, zorak, I'm color-blind *
What's outside doesn't count.
* True evil's from within * oh, I can see so clearly now *
* you've taught me quite a lesson *
* oh, thank you, thank you, Space Ghost *
You truly are a blessin'.
Aw, zorak, that's sweet.
Uh, I'm going to vomit!
Thank you! Thank you!
Thanks so much.
Thank you.
I was just talking to some of my friends on the street.
Uh-huh.
Do that noise with your armpits.
Is that the noise you mean?
Moltar, what's the holdup?
What are you doing?
* "Moltar, what are you doing? " *
* it's a question I've heard all my life *
* my parents don't understand me *
* and neither does my wife Moltar!
* She's a sweet and simple girl, my Linda *
Moltar!
* A lovely lass, you see-- *
Moltar!
Send out the guest.
All right, all right.
Ladies and gentlemen, you've seen him, you know him, you love him,
you go through a phase where you don't love him so much
yet you don't want to hurt him, so you don't dare tell him of your feelings,
say hello to Steve Allen!
Thank you.
The pleasure's mine, steverino.
Have you met my archenemy zorak?
Zorak?
Hi, Steve. Mind if I snack on your head?
Whoa! Hey, Steve, you hear that?
Ha ha ha ha!
Well, it makes me laugh, as you just saw.
I found it amusing that someone would want to snack on my head.
There's an old song-- * snack on my head-- no, no, I'm sorry.
That's time on my hands.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's right, Steve.
Show him, zorak!
* There are heads just ripe for some snackin' *
* and I mean to snack on a few *
Come on, Steve!
* It's time to get crackin' *
* I got a lot of snackin' to do *
* oh! There are villains just ripe for some whackin' *
* and I mean to whack me a few *
Come on, zorak!
* It's bound to happen * I got a lot of whackin' to do *
* there are fires just ripe for some settin' *
* and I aim to set a few fires *
* when those fires get set, they'll be burnin'... *
Shut up, Moltar!
We hate you!
You're dumb!
But I was just... No! You're stupid, so just shut up, stupid!
So, what do you think of my show, Steve?
Well, it's the first of its kind, and so you're just as good as I am.
I did the first of my kind.
You've done the first of your kind.
* Then let the record so reflect *
* 'twas I that got there first *
All right, then let the record so reflect.
* Even though I never get * the credit I deserve
you raise a very sore point.
* La-da-da-da-da-da-da * you forgot the words, you jerk *
How do you like that for a snappy comeback?
* Come and get it!
* You're really, really, really gonna get it *
* you'll regret it * when you get it
* because it isn't something that you want *
What are you talking about?
Shut up, zorak!
* I'm sick of your beak
* I'm gonna blast you * into next week
* Sitting in the control room, waiting for the break *
* waiting for the break * waiting for the break * to come Space Ghost:
Shut up!
* Sitting in the control room, waiting for the break *
* waiting for the break * waiting for the break * to end
we're setting up the next bit, so shut up, stupid!
Thank you.
Now it's time for Steve Allen to do a little bit of his "man on
the street" shtick.
Yes. Of course, I need a street, and I need at least one man.
Do you have a sample man for me?
Only the samplest. Brak?
Hello, Brak?
Can you hear me?
* On the street * on the street I think there's something stuck on my feet!
* Life is great * I feel grand I could eat a whole pound of ham!
* On the street * on the street * where I am * I'm on * the * street!
On the street!
Ha ha ha ha!
Well, I guess that constitutes a yes. Brak?
What?
Oh, boy! Ha ha!
Oh, boy, I get it!
You got it. Good.
Well, don't tell your mother.
Oh, I won't.
Wow! Do you know Brak's language?
Are you surprised to learn that I actually speak brakese?
Hit me again, steverino.
Oh, that's what she said! Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha! I'm hip, but this was just supposed to be between you and me.
You're funny, Steve Allen.
Ok, Brak, and spacey and ghosty and all the dwarves who are out there today
around the old campfire.
Thank you, Steve Allen
Whoa! Did you hear that?
Yeah, I heard it really loud.
I hit the wrong switch.
Oh, man!
I'm going to do it again.
Oh!
Ha ha ha!
Moltar, what's going on in there?
Oh, uh, Andy dick, coming right up!
Andy dick?
Is that right, Moltar?
Yup, that's right.
We got Andy dick.
* Oh, my!
I can't believe my ears *
* I have waited for this moment for years *
* how can this be?
* Andy dick's gonna talk to me *
Andy dick!
Andy dick?
Why did we get Andy dick?
* Because Linda loves Andy dick *
* a lovely lass, you see-- *
Shut up!
Shut up, stupid!
We hate you!
Oh, Space Ghost, hello.
So, Andy, did you like our little Andy dick song?
That is sweet, that is sweet.
It's a reprise of the song I can't believe we got
Steve Allen.
Oh, so it's not, uh... It's not that special, then.
No, no, no, it's very special.
You wrote it for Steve Allen, and then you just inserted my--
it's fine, though, it's fine.
Anyway whoo-hoo! Looks like a feuding's on the way!
* Down in the holler, amongst the filth and squalor *
That number's been cut!
Look, red, I don't really have a lot of time to be confrontational
about this, so-- you're right.
I don't want to, either, actually, because I don't have super powers.
That's right, Andy.
You wouldn't stand a chance against my destructo-ray or my heat ray
or my freeze ray-- I know what you have.
I know, I know.
Andy... Ah, that's better.
I have an inviso-belt that I can... I can turn invisible.
Oh, I'm not wearing it.
Well, maybe it's at home in the magic closet.
Ok, yeah, yeah, you're right, I don't... I don't have one.
All right, now tell everyone at home.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Do it!
I don't have an inviso-belt.
Andy, sing your song.
Oh, I have to sing it?
Yes.
Will you sing it with me?
Sing!
* Space Ghost, Space Ghost * put down that stick * please don't beat up
* Andy dick * Andy, Andy * you're getting me ticked * think I'll pummel
Andy dick *
* Space Ghost, Space Ghost * clickety-click * Space Ghost,
don't be a space-- *
* Andy, Andy * clickety-click * Andy, don't be a--
* Don't be a space-- hey, everybody! It's time for the big finale!
* That's all the time we have today *
* we finally get a chance * to sing while Moltar rolls the credits *
* Andy dick will dance * good-bye!
Good-bye.
* Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye * good-bye, good-bye, good-bye,
good-bye, good-bye! *
Good night, everybody!
Now dance!
A-5, 6, 7, 8.
How much do you want?
I could go on all day.
Do it all day.
I can do anything. I can shuffle off to buffalo.
Hey, why don't you shuffle off to Mars?
I can't shuffle off too far, though.